I gave a talk to Shy London on Saturday September 6th 2014 at the Calder Bookshop And Theatre near Southwark. This was the first time I have given a talk related to the subject of Social Anxiety. The talks subject was “not letting Social Anxiety control you”. I am in no way a professional speaker and let people know that in advance, so was very happy to receive ( unsolicited ) feedback such as
“Fantastic. Some useful tips. It made me feel more optimistic about the future.”
“Great talk with lots of useful tips.”
“Lots of useful tips and information, presented in a nicely straight-forward, earnest and sincere way. My hope and optimism that things can ever get better have been sorely lacking recently, and this talk has helped restore my optimism. Thank you Chris”
“Thanks ever so much Chris, a really interesting talk … came away very encouraged with lots to reflect on …”
The talk lasted approximately one hour, with a short break in it. The second half was much shorter, due to me having covered most of what I wanted to and the fact I wasn’t enjoying listening to my own voice 🙂 Also I think I had covered the important points from my notes.
The talk covered varying subjects such as :
* The fact that I am not a trained therapist and you should see your GP if you feel the need. He can prescribe medication or enroll you onto a CBT course.
* The importance of knowing yourself, of sitting down and spending time writing down your core set of values.
* The important realisation that “you are not your thoughts”
* That you need to commit on starting on a journey today, though you may not know the route or destination. The importance of setting off now and that you cannot think out the journey in advance, you need to actually start now and see what happens.
* Hypnotherapy. How it helped me, what should you expect to happen at a hypnotherapy session.
* The importance of declaring to other people your intention to go on your journey to make a affirmation in front of other people.
* The fact that you can change, if I could change, anyone can.
* Mindfulness was discussed at various points. The benefits of fully experiencing the present moment, the fact that although yesterday, the day before that and today may have been the same for you, but that doesn’t mean that today will be. The importance of realising that every minute of every day gives numerous opportunities to react and behave differently.
* The fact that all of us are going to die, one day and there is only limited time to make the changes you want. Relating this to mindfulness expanding what can be achieved in that time.
* “Who am I to be brilliant”. Recongnising inner thoughts, scripts, that may say this person or that person can do a better job of something, and therefore who am I to stand up and do it. The fallacy of this script and the importance of not following it.
* Obstacles, the fact that many people have a lot of obstacles that make them not the best person to do something, yet you can and should do it anyway. My bad memory for names and faces and yet I am organiser of Shy London.
* “Feel the fear and do it anyway”. The need to do things despite the anxietys, that will escalate as an event approaches.
* The benefits of following thru with commitments e.g. RSVPS and how that helps you establish positive patterns of behaviour.
* The importance of self esteem and how helping other people can really benefit this.
* Your life your responsibility. The harsh truth that, despite having people around you to help, you and only you are responsible for your own life and making changes to it.
* Happiness and the validity and importance of making happiness central to your life. The art of happiness book by HH Dalai Lama.
* Random acts of kindness, e.g. sockmob, and the importance of empathy with others, helping others
* Having a positive worldview to help you feel connected to others around you, the fact that most people are good people and you should connect with them.
* The possibility of hosting an event for Shy London
* The importance of taking the initiative
* Leaning on each other
* Buddhist books and thoughts
* Stepping outside your normal
* Being spontaneous, not planning everything
* Choosing your company, spend more time with positive, encouraging people
* Conversational skills
* Importance of physical exercise for clearing mind
* Ego, getting outside your own head
There were other subjects I touched on briefly and others planned, but left out. I may do another talk one day but am not yet commiting to this.
Ill add a further post on resources, especially for :
* Conversational Skills
* Buddhist, and other, books I recommend.